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Jan 20, 2020..... mood: clueless, bored, pissed (idk why lol)

wazzzup!!! finished last day of semester one classes today; still have to do 2 multiple choice diploma exams (social studies and english) but then i get a week long exam break :)! i am kinda nervous about my art mark cuz i didnt hand in a project. generally i thrive in art, in previous years i got a's but now im at a 48% :/. im going to art school in a couple of years (taking a gap year to work and contemplate my future).... i have all the pre requisites to do so but idk if art school is worth it?? maybe im wrong or ignorant but its a lot of money for something that probably wont guarantee me a successful career. whatever, gonna stop thinking about it for now so i dont freak out O_O. anywaysss, today was ok i guess. did my first whippet today, it was kinda lame but i was curious. thats about it, idk why i made a blog post if it wasnt gonna be that interesting but i just felt like it. gonna watch bohemian rhapsody or something. peace out bitchezzz

enjoy gif of pikalil:

Jan 18, 2020..... mood: bummed

Had a pretty shitty last few days tbh. Bought some vodka from a friend, got drunk on a thursday night, thought it would be a good idea to go to the park in -30 degree weather, and got caught inebriated by my parents. TBH, im not so bummed about the fact they know i drink (since they already know i do it), but because i admitted my deepest secrets to them while intoxicated and know they probs judge me now. Alsooo, stupid drunk me told them where my vodka was and they dumped $15 bucks worth down the sink :(. Im mainly mad about that, I still had like,,,12 shots worth in there. But I stole the 20 bucks from my dad to buy it anyways, so I guess it doesnt matter??? LOL i sound like a bad kid but I try to be nice, and they are good parents even if my mom is a lil passive aggressive. Everything is fine now tho (even tho my dad looks at me with disappointed eyes). I went to school still drunk and hungover the next day and it wasnt fun. Last night I was bored, so I took my last tab of acid. I haven't done psychedelics in months, and left the tab in tinfoil, so I knew it would have degraded a bit. But the experience was wayyyyyy lamer than I thought; I slept most of the time and only had a few loopy visuals. Alsooo, Im almost out of weed and dont have a plug :(.

Writing this all down makes me realize how much of a loser junkie i rlly am and how easy my life is!! Might as well have some fun before uni tho ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Anywaysss, now that I'm almost finished my diploma exams and the new semester is almost here, I can work on finding a job and actually becoming a productive member of society. Still have to do my resume (which ive been procrastinating for no reason) and make some money to buy more vodka LOL. im 18 in under 5 months and want to actually have a foundation for when i move out. Lastly, I forgot to mention that we got an orange tabby kitten named Missy, and I primarily take care of her (so she loves me the most ^^). She is so fucking cute, will post pics of her soon. Thanks 4 reading my pathetic entry, have a gr8 life :P.

Dec 29, 2019..... mood:chill, festive, happy

Merry late christmas! the holidays were gr8 but not much to say 'bout it; i had dinner with family, slept over at my aunts, and just chilled. also, i got a lava lamp and money so im pretty stoked! i've also been drawing a calender for my mom (as a present) and its verrrry time consuming. maybe ill post pics of my 'art' sometime. anyways, i got invited to a party thingy but i didnt go; it was for new years but it was held today at 2PM (which didnt work well since i was still at my aunts this morning). however, my parents still drove me and i stole sum wine to bring (lol). but when i showed up, the blinds were shut, there was no music, the house looked dead as hell. i knocked and rang the doorbell and no one answered, so we left. its odd, i am 100% certain it was the address he sent me..... was i just supposed to enter??? ugh ew hes kinda gross tho, so maybe its best i didnt go. blah, im having my own party in the end of january (small event, only the art kids) so that will be bomb as hell!! hope you had a great holiday, byeeeee!

Dec 15, 2019..... mood:chill, headphones, vibing

hellloooo! had a fine day today, waked and baked this morning! i burned incense and the smoke looked like a beautiful floating whale :). then me and my mom went to a crytsal store and got coffee, which was pretty chill. i picked up drusy quartz, yellow calcite, rose aura crystla, and a few more. i dont believe in the healing power of crystals all that much but they are really prettttyyyy and i spent about 20 bucks on rocks lolz. i also ate too much today (2000-ish calories) and i feel so gross :'/, i seriously hate eating it makes me feel terrible. i wish i could live off sunlight like a plant. thxxx for reading, gonna go to the park to swing and smoke a cig :p

EDIT: went to the park at 1:00 in the morning and saw 5 deer! one of the deer ran right by my swing and we stared at each other for a minute :). stay safe, lil deer friends

Dec 4, 2019..... mood:anxious, tired

wow, srry i havent updated my blog in a while ^^;! the fleetwood mac concert was amazing, really glad i got to go but there isnt much to tell about it. my brother and i sat wayyyy in the back but still got a gr8 view of the stage and i got to see stevie nicks with my own eyes :O... anyways, school has been blah; i have no motivation to do anything i love anymore and concentrating on homework is even harder. ill get through it but the future really scares me! its too cold to go out, wear flattering clothes and walk to the gym, so there isnt much to do except eat and get fat in bed. im so sluggish :/

i've been really into watching the show 'life below zero'. its about people who survive living in alaska and walking us thru their lives (i would totally recommend, its on netflix). their lives kinda make my problems feel miniscule lol! other things i've been loving are the movies 'Minnie and Moskowitz' and 'Holding the Man', mid 90's-early 2000s club music, and medival botanical art. thxxx 4 readin' :D

Nov 9, 2019..... mood:chill, happy, bouncy

haihaihaihai ^^! i have a long weekend cuz we have monday off for remembrance day! i dont have a lot of classes in november since there are so many PD/interview days, so thats rlly nice! we also have a grade 12 retreat all day on thursday (which is basically just a lecture about God from some 'hip' and 'cool' millenial catholic) :/. don't get me wrong, i believe in God and consider myself religious, but i'm not gonna spend all damn day listening to that!! i told my mom i'll skip but she said no (what a shock), but i still will cuz idc :p.

I'm going to a fleetwood mac concert with my brother tomorrow!!!! im so fuckin excited i love fleetwood mac! stevie nicks is a queen! i've never been to a concert for a band i actually enjoy, so this is rlly amazing ughhh. theres not much else to say about that tho, i'll probs update about it after! have a good day / night / week / watever!